WeakGame Entertainment

Ashley Tisdale is taking over the site ... AND I DON'T KNOW WHY

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

God help me. NOTE: It is curious that between these pictures and these pictures she managed to put on about 20 pounds. Especially considering they were taken on the same day.

Photos: Splash

Lindsay Lohan celebrates her independence

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Like all great Americans, Lindsay Lohan celebrated Independence Day by getting in a bikini and lounging around a Malibu beach house. I'm not even sure if she's in rehab anymore. She says she is, but she's constantly leaving to attend parties and go roller blading. She might as well claim to be attending space camp and Harvard Medical School as well, since she spends just as much time there.

Photos: Splash

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo sex pictures

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Famous magazine has the first pictures (pretty SFW) from Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo's sex romp in Mexico and they're extremely disappointing. Last week pictures came out of Nick and Vanessa running around naked in Mexico, and then word leaked that there were also hardcore sex pictures. Nick confirmed the existence of the sex pictures to OK! magazine, saying:

"Where's the scandal? I was in Mexico with my girlfriend of a year, celebrating our anniversary on a private vacation. It's not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker. We've all gone out and had a few too many and done something stupid. We've all made mistakes."

The pictures are pretty tame as these things go, since all the action is hidden behind a giant wall. For all we know they could be playing a rowdy game of Monopoly back there. And I don't understand what all the controversy is about. Having sex with your girlfriend in your hotel room isn't exactly scandalous. The only shocking thing here is that anybody is willing to have sex with Nick Lachey. I took a survey of 100 women and 99 of them said they'd rather do it with a running lawn mower. Thanks to Ryan for the scan, who I hear is so manly he sweats beer. UPDATE: Aww, Nick and Vanessa's lawyer made me take it down.

Hilary Duff hits the beach

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Hilary Duff spent her Fourth of July with her sister Haylie Duff on the beach. And I know she's 19-years-old, but there's something deeply disturbing about seeing her in a bikini. Whenever she dresses like an adult she always ends up looking like some kid who got into her mom's closet. I feel like I should pat her on the head and give her a cookie. And then, you know, turn myself in to the police.

Photos: Splash

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Have fond childhood memories of Alvin and the Chipmunks? Want to see those memories get raped in the ass by Hollywood? Then check out the official movie poster here.

Britney Spears is still a moron

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Britney Spears already wrote a letter to the paparazzi apologizing for the umbrella incident, but she decided that wasn't enough and posted an update to her official website with the same stupid garbage.

I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a roll in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn't get the part.

You'd think her second time around she'd catch her spelling mistakes or at least make sense, but you'd be wrong. My God, would you be wrong. Is she actually proud of her letter? If I was her I'd be denying I even wrote it, not posting it again on my official website. How are her managers letting this shit slide through? If you walked into their office I'm 100% sure you'd see a monkey in a suit, jumping up and down on a desk and waving a banana around. NOTE: You know she takes her rolls seriously because she eats so many of them. UPDATE: Looks like her handlers finally figured out spell check. Turns out these 'rolls' she kept referring to were actually 'roles.' Go figure.

Alessandra Ambrosio bikini pictures

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

If you don't understand why I'm posting these shots of Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini you really don't belong on the site. I'm not even sure if you belong on the planet. And I don't want to perpetuate any of the unrealistic body images set by society, but if you don't look this good in a bikini you should seriously consider just lighting your face on fire. NOTE: Can you believe Alessandra Ambrosio and Britney Spears were born in the same year? It's like telling me a lion and a used sock are the same species of animal.

Diddy is a terrible host

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Diddy was set to host a party at Whitehouse in the Hamptons Tuesday night, but he showed up at 2:15 am and then only stayed an hour before collecting his paycheck and leaving with two girls. The NY Daily News reports:

No wonder his stay was brief: The only other semi-celeb in the house was Samantha Cole. "He hid behind security in the VIP room drinking Champagne," notes one guest. The Kim Porter -free mogul did find two "amazingly attractive" girls in "teeny black dresses," who were hustled into his caravan of three SUVs just before it sped off.

This is what you get when you hire Diddy to host your parties. Last August he showed up five and half hours late to his own party. You could get a giant cardboard cutout of Diddy and it'd probably be a better host. Or you could get a cardboard cutout of me and never leave your bedroom. Rowr!

Bai Ling might be married

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Bai Ling was spotted outside club Area in LA on the Fourth of July and told paparazzi she had gotten married in Vegas earlier that day to Damon Elliot, the son of singer Dionne Warwick. Which is just absolutely insane. I mean, really, Mr. Damon Elliot? Bai Ling? You couldn't find a circus clown to marry? Or a monkey in a silly hat? I figure the marriage will last three weeks before Damon snaps and murders Bai Ling because she refuses to stop bouncing around in the corner while chanting, "Look at me! Look at me!" NOTE: I'm assuming she won him over with her dance moves. How could you watch her dance and not fall in love?

Jennifer Garner is afraid of the sun

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Jennifer Garner spent her Fourth of July surfing with Ben Affleck in Hawaii. Maybe surfing isn't the right word here. It looks more like a 'being pale' contest, and Jennifer is totally beating everybody in the entire world. When I first saw these I thought she was being played by a ghost. Then I got scared and hid in my closet for two hours. I mean, uh, I didn't get scared. What I meant to say was I flexed and then my shirt ripped off because my muscles are so big. True story.

Paris Hilton - A Process A Gift and A Journey

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

/article_thumbs/"gallery"> Somebody took the journal excerpt Paris Hilton read on Larry King Live and turned it into a rock ballad (listen to it above). I'd be lying* if I said this wasn't the most powerful and moving piece of music I've ever heard in my entire life. If Paris Hilton's career as a person who stands there doing nothing ever falls though, she should seriously consider a career in music lyrics. Or touching people's hearts. *swoon* *This may or may not be a lie.

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are BFF

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Paris Hilton showed up to Lindsay Lohan's Fourth of July bash hosted by A.J. Lamas (the son of Lorenzo Lamas), and the two apparently made peace. The NY Daily News reports:

"Paris has decided to give Lindsay a second chance," says a spy, noting that the two were cordial. "Paris was known as a bully ... she would form alliances. If a friend didn't like Lohan, then she wouldn't like Lohan. But she's through taking sides. She realized who her real friends were when she was in jail �" and there weren't many. Plus, she's got to be in a good mood after the Blackstone Group bought the Hilton Hotels, boosting her inheritance."

Whew! We can all rest easy now, because Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are friends again. There were a tense couple of months back there when the dynamics of their relationship wer-- *blows brains out* NOTE: These aren't pictures of Lindsay with Paris, they're of Lindsay at a party in Malibu the day after. Because that's what you do in rehab. You attend parties and then don't actually go to rehab.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are married

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker got married in a civil ceremony in Paris today. The two will have a second ceremony tomorrow at Paris's Eglise Saint-Germain l'Auxerrois, followed by a lavish celebration at Vaux-le-Vicomte. Which is just a whole lot of words I have no idea how to say. I tried to learn some French from a Parisian woman once, but whenever she was around me all she could say were pleasurable moans.

Photos: Splash

Paris Hilton is an actress

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Paris Hilton was spotted leaving a private acting coach carrying a copy of Ivana Chubbuck's "The Power Of Acting." Aww, isn't that cute? She actually believes she has talent. The odds of her becoming a respected actress are about as good as my pet turtle becoming an astronaut. I mean I've been giving him the reading materials, but sometimes I get the feeling his heart just isn't into it.

Alessandra Ambrosio does some cleaning

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 21:00:00 -0700

Alessandra Ambrosio was spotted cleaning out her car yesterday after spending the day at the beach. I'm just glad the paparazzi captured shots of her doing regular everyday stuff. Sometimes the public forgets people as good looking as Alessandra and I are still regular people too. We supermodels have to clean out our cars just like everybody else, only afterwards when we walk down the street we're worshipped as gods and get bags of money thrown at us.